Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS treats the conflicting parts of you as protective rather than broken. Useful when you've been at war with yourself about the same decision for years.
This might be your door if
- Part of you wants it and part of you refuses, and you've been stuck between them for a long time.
- You criticise yourself in a voice that doesn't sound like yours.
- You do the thing you promised yourself you wouldn't, and then you can't explain why.
- You've been told to stop self-sabotaging, and it hasn't helped, because it doesn't feel like sabotage from the inside.
What actually happens
We become curious about the parts of you that push hard, withdraw or try to keep others happy. Together, we explore what each is trying to protect and what it fears might happen if it stopped. As you develop understanding and compassion, more vulnerable feelings may become easier to approach. We explore these gradually, with the same care and attention to pace as other trauma work.
What this isn't
Parts language isn't a diagnosis, and it doesn't mean anything is fragmented about you. It's a way of talking that makes an internal conflict workable instead of shameful. If the language doesn't fit you, we don't have to use it.
Common questions
- Does having parts mean something is wrong with me?
No. In IFS, “parts” is a way of describing different feelings, needs or motivations, such as wanting to rest while also feeling pressure to finish a task.
- How is this different from talking to myself?
The emphasis is on curiosity. Instead of arguing with a response or trying to override it, we explore what it is trying to do for you and what it needs.
- Do you combine this with somatic work?
Yes, almost always. We may notice these responses through sensations such as a tense jaw, tight chest or sudden numbness, as well as through words.
- Is this suitable if I have a trauma history?
It can be, and the pacing matters even more. We build enough steadiness first, and we don't go near protected material before there's somewhere safe to return to.
Before we start, one important thing
This therapy is not a substitute for crisis or safety intervention. It isn't appropriate if you are currently in an unsafe or dangerous situation, or if you are at immediate risk of harming yourself or ending your life. In those circumstances you need crisis, emergency or specialised support first.
Somatic psychotherapy is also unsuitable for people who have recently faced, or are currently facing, legal allegations.
You might also be looking at
Somatic Counselling
Compassionate Inquiry
Somatic Couples and Relational Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Ready to start?
Book a first session, or write to me if you'd rather ask something before you do.